Synopsis: A memoir about our ocean, his passion and the cruelty of reality.
– March 4, 2016 –
In the spring of sophomore year we had a place. It was one of those places where you go and time stands still. The only place I have ever been where the world feels small, where nothing matters except being there, in that moment, with him.
My heart pounds with excitement as he grabs my door and I hop up into his truck. He’s told me about this place a million times and this is the first time he decided to take me. He walks around to his side and pulls himself in, starts the car and we’re off. We talked, talking with him was simple, it was easy. I loved it. He leans over and turns on the radio, there was not a time we drove where we didn’t have music playing, oh he was so passionate about music. I loved that. However, tonight I got the aux I picked a song we both loved, Lana Del Rey’s Young and Beautiful. Boy did we jam out, we sung just as loud as our voices would allow. After nearly twenty minutes of music and some good conversation, he signals and rolls his big chevy off the side of the road and onto a small dirt area. Eagerly stepping out onto the rocky dirt the cool March air hits my face. I scope out my unfamiliar surroundings as he walks around to my side of the truck to meet me, he takes my hand. I loved that. We walk up to the curb of the street and wait until all of the headlights disappear. Once the road is clear we run across and walk on until we’re up against what appears to be a picnic pavilion area. He takes one look at me then starts climbing, I watch as he gracefully makes his way up onto the roof then turns around as if it was as easy as breathing. First just let me just say, I’m not quite as competent when it comes to scaling buildings but he was beautifully patient. He smiles at me and begins coaching me up to join him. Cautiously and might I add very slowly, yes there might have been some butt scooting due to fear of heights, I finally arrive on top of the roof beside him. We make our way to the highest point, where the roof peaks, and lay down next to each other. The roof feels cool and even though it really is not the most comfortable place to lay it is so worth it. We lean our heads back off the tip of the roof, and stare. Stare into the distance and wait until our minds flip the world upside down. The sky turns into a vast, dark ocean and the twinkling city lights flip and line the bay.
My mind is invigorated, amazed that fifteen miles can turn into a place far away from my little cocoon of Murray, Utah. I’m on the coast staring into the ocean. Everything about the world seems far from me, everything except him.
We lay there talking about anything, about everything. This is one of those moments, where you feel so completely and utterly alive. This is the moment I realized just how special this person was, he was unlike anyone I had ever known. What he did seemed simple, he took me to a place he thought was pretty cool and talked to me about the things he liked, little did he know he sparked something inside of me. He didn’t just talk about things he liked but he spoke in such a way that I felt alive just by being around him. He taught me passion, he didn’t just like things he was passionate about everything he loved. His mind was a beautiful mess of thoughts that captivated me completely. He felt things so deeply and his words hung in the air in a manner that made me feel something I had never felt before in my life, passion. His passion was contagious and it made me crave that feeling of being in love with the things I found interesting, it made my heart long for my own passion. My mind finally felt interesting, like I had something to offer the world, he made me think and view the world in a perfectly opposite way. I loved that.
But sadly, we couldn’t stay there all night eventually we had to sit up. The world comes flooding back as we climb down. We remember we aren’t by the ocean. We get back into his car, he plays his Fleetwood Mac and I fall asleep. The night was perfect and I loved it. But the truth is we were never seaside we were just kidding ourselves; escaping the world will never last forever, eventually reality will always set in. Sad to say, but more often then not reality is a cruel thing and inevitably it tends to win, as it did in our case. Simply put, we don’t go there anymore.
K. Marian Mabey